nth worth believing in

ohkay, hellos!
hmmms.. t only comment abt these few "updateless" days is on t extreme positive end at t negative side
got tt?

had massive quarrels with Rayna(stingray)over stuff..
im sry rayna.. i reallie had no idea tt...
sry for tt attitude, for t way i treated u ytd
i sld nv have lost my temper to such an extent.
i just cldn accept tt of all t ppl out dere, it had to be you who said im cheap
tc & all t best for ur nlvls yea

been pretty random nowadays.
i hate t freaking moodswings.

hmms..
darling seems jealous abt me hanging out with guys and being closer to my gans thn to him.
RAWR!
dont be alrights? coz u'll always be t special one:)

damns.. im irritated with myself. it's t 3rd time i signed in to edit and extremely gross spelling error. cant believe i didn spot it

Omgomgomgomg. im going nutts.
hahaha!
let's c.. i still owe mrliu ws 3 and 4
+ i dno how to do 5,6, testpaper & GC ws
so erh.. someone tell me how i gna survive?
i just realised we've got papers on friday. TSK

i so love reading ur msgs as t first thing i do when i wake up:) & im really lucky to have u<3

hey ME, im kinda being nice. aint u special? fancy me dedicating a post to u. hmmm.. dont get it all wrong. ure getting special treatment coz im worried abt u ynoe.. think u nid alot of mental support and help considering u decided to tag as ME. kinda shows tt u need considerable amt of help before u get smth lk... a mental breakdown. so well, here's to show recognition to YOUR actual self as a hmm.. sucker? oops, i suppose i dont mean tt. dont take it to heart yo? though i kinda concluded tt tt was ur actual name. -in deep thot-

i think uve misunderstood me from ur tag. it's a disappointment tt ive such misconceptions of myself. ouch.. im so hurt. actually if u dont get it, i meant "for god sake, make sure u noe me well before claiming to be ME".
as a matter of fact, i do NOT stead every guy. & deres not a need for me to know their lives ynoe.. i respect t privacy of others. note tt before being ME will ya?
as for t part of acting as though i cared, [alrights, i shall be honest] im feigning concern for u in this post in case u dont noe wad it means to "act lk i care for him" as u put it.

although u claim to be ME, i dont think i noe wad u mean by "wanting him* to leave me alone" coz i rmb asking ppl to FK OFF whnever i do not relish their attention. it's blatant enough but miraculously some of them do not seem to get it. maybe those lk u? i shall be nice and not stereotype(:

& yes, i can be faithful in case u reallie nid t info. be sure to thank me for letting u noe me btr in ur pursue to be ME.

last but not least, i wld appreciate it if u stop being ME as u suck at tt. oops. sorraye.

btw, i was being lame by assuming ure me(; lamer-ism is in my blood. note t too ohkay? afterall, t mass media is an alternative world yea? thus deres no need to take things as they are supposed to be

SOMEBODY, PLS HELP ME FIND MY HWK SPIRIT.
damnx.. it went into hiding coz i abused it previously, i think
i merely neglected it alrights:(
i didn overwork it at all & it had to do this to me

RAWRR
YOU BTR COME BACK AND HELP ME COMPLETE MY HWK OR I'LL SPANK U WHEN I FIND U

oops..
think tt sounded too fierce. it gna run further away & not come back :X

approach 2:
hwk spirit, come back wld ya?
ive got a candy for u;)
& i'll give u a nice holiday after my exams if u come back now ohkay?

xD
tts btr!
so it better come back soon;)
coz im drowning in hwk
[hey, i noe im a lifesaver and i can swim but tt does not incld swimming in hwk)x ]

gawd.. im becoming looney=X
& random

darling, ure missed! study hard yea?(:

lalas! im randomly updating abt random stuff
so yea..
pardon me if i sound lk a looney

woke up real late this morning but t first msg i saw was frm <33
hahas! tt poor guy msg me lk super early in t morning and thot i gna wake up at 8 as i said so last nite.
seems lk im really a pigg.OINK
sry darlingg.. teddy was just too cuddly i cldn help but fall aslp again xP

talked to several ppl i haven been talking to for a long tyme online
though t convo with ASLAM was real short, it's lk WOW! he still rmbs me lol!
& VIVIAN too!
somehow, this gal's real special [uh.. i aint les]
just tt although i oni noe her online tru a fren coz we happened to be pinyang's ex, it's lk we're kinda close.
gna mit up with her soon-loves- xD

Jeff daddy is seriously worrying
it's lk rawr!
think he cut himself or smth but he refuses to tell me y
guess it's my fault for not being a good gan-nuer
sry daddy. if u c this, tc yea?
i'll be dere for u if u ever nid me

sighs. i seriously wonder if i've gotten evt wrong
if he* screws up his Nlvls, it gna be my fault no matter what others say yea?
it's just.. idontknow.
FK.
im sorry.

& last but not least, i will learn to believe in us:)

hellos(:
i dont get what's wrong.
& im freaking upset over it
darlingg, ure needed.

reached school at 9 today
kinda hilarious coz i was late due to t rain
it was literally flooding & my shoes were wet.
thankgod i had t intelligence to bring an extra pair along =P

btw, michelle's pan mei(may)san
xpxp
tts wad her dad said.
HEEE. sounds old xpxp

nth interesting happend in school today except me asking shane abt stuff
qn was inspired by michelle's lack of intel but we've yet to get our ans still
RAWRR

im feeling moody again:(
damn t random moodswings.
GO AWAY! i didn invite u, moodswings! it's rude to disturb ynoe..

PE with cesty was nice
we were lk.. walking more thn 3 rounds outta t 4 we were supp to run
& ended up LAUGHING & SINGING instead
think mrtan's at his tethers on wad to do with t two of us
we're FOREVER slacking off=P

btw, t non-phys students realised tt MichellePan's name is....
POON MUISHAN
she is so gna murder me x.x
HAHAHA TARD^3! thx f t laughter during free period!

hey world(:
i survived bio lesson today!
pretty much thx to luck coz i didn complete ALL t hwk
merely had some foolscape paper with puny handwriting over them.-winks-
im a bad student.

english was hilarious though sadly, t standard of my el is going DOWNNN
MsTan wanted us to do a compre which was made up of 3 pieces of paper & we were short of t one with passage A
[i mean, panmeishan Michelle didn have it coz she nicely gave it to nkf and me. thx gurl!]
but well, tt means she gna prop my hand up and wave it to catch MsTan's attention to get t missing sheet [damn u michelle!]
& so when MsTan noticed us...
Me: MsTan, we are passage A short
omg.. i dno wad i was thinking. t incessant sneezing since bio must have killed many of my braincells for me to make such a language error
Mich: SHORT OF PASSAGE A LA
Shane: short of passage A la. ure passage A short meh? i noe ure short
to think they hav t cheek to laugh at me. HAHA!
*awhile ltr*
MsTan: who is short?
she wanted to ask who else didn have passage A coz she needed to go photocopy more
michelle and i raised our hands tgt. pretty much coincidental
& at t same tyme, t whole class turned to look at us and laughed
coz it so happened tt we're t class shorties x,x

tt was t only fun lesson of t day i supp.
went to look for kehan and to shop for grandaunt's bday present alone aft school
kinda fun getting arnd alone
i lk t feeling of it(:

so much for today
HAPPY BDAY LAOYI & SEETENG in advance

u brighten up my day, reallie;)

got pretty lucky in school today, getting away with not completing t supposed to be done hwk
hee. typical of me to get contented over such lil things.
beats having t tcher breathing down my neck yo?:P

first lesson of t day was spent trying not to doze off though i cldn stop my thots from drifting to some faraway fairytale land [which does not exist in t first place =x]
break was thn spent in class familiarising myself with OP slides.
was totally trying to commit as much as possible to memory hoping tt i wun screw up only to end up lucky enough not to present today
phews.
so much for trying to complete our product before break ends too!
[ps i hibernated tru t whole period of presentation literally. Sry to those who were presenting!]

lessons subsequently were spent trying to grasp t concepts with messages coming pretty regularly to help me keep awake.
no thx to my short attention span=X

2nd break was pretty filled with spasticity. [char & i noe wad happend. HEE]
i reallie nida brush up on my math or i gna fail badly for EOYS
PE was saturated with laughter due to bad hand-eye coordination which seemed infectious xP
I HEREBY DECLARE TT I SUCK AT BADMINTON

& yadayada.. [fast forward to remedial]
oh yes, b4 i do tt, VENGYI MADE MY DAY!
she squealed in delight upon seeing her fav tcher[ coincidentally t fiercest in rv],making me scream in shock.
IT WAS T HIGHEST PITCH SCREAM EVER SINCE I GOT MY VOICE BACK XD
[jumps arnd happily]

math remedial caused me to go bonkers, laughing lk mad tgt with PANMEISHAN MICHELLE.
think i pissed mrliu off with my relentless outbursts of laughter-,-
uhoh.

[fast forward to tution]
it was.. -,-
i kept getting picked on and i so totally made everyone laugh coz i freaked out and cldn express myself properly.
kinda a good thing though.. at least it injected some life into t class xD

& thx f t great company[smses] tday;D ive nv had someone lk u.. someone who made me talk t way i used to

SRY FOR T LENGTHY AND BORING POST!
IM FEELING SO HIGH I CLDN HELP TYPING EVT
hwk tyme now =x
hope t adrenaline keeps me going

went tution today at bedok
some make-up lesson coz i naughtily skipped one previously =x
t class was as dead as i gna be this coming week with studying to do on top of hwk
ohwells..

had great fun texting with noel these two days
tt guy rocks;D

oh yes..
i finally met TINGSHIAN after tut
went lib tgt to do hwk
funny huh?
he kept teasing me abt my height-eeyer-

Sry dude, i cant be ur gf
& i dont think u sld try to make me urs coz i aint worth it, reallie
thx f evt ya?

i so feel lk giving up on studying alrd.
it's lk t worst consequence gna be to get retained anyway..
-shrugs-
bt i so fking do not want to spend a single day more in school
it gna be another yr of forcing myself awake for t sake of dragging myself to t hellhole day aft day
sickening.

even if i dont walk away, evt gna be fine as long as i dont turn back right?

my lil frenzies

been a lil paranoid lately.
dont quite show it but somehow, dere always seem to be some random thots racing tru my mind.
thots tt make my heart race lk crazy
it's lk ..
t thots are so damn random i dont even know y they sneak into my mind
i can be thinking of how badly i gna screw up for eoys during chinese lessons,
wonder wad if i dont make it to promote halfway tru math etc
hope i aint going crazy.
doubt i am anyway
it's just funny to have oddly random thots at t weirdest and yet most normal tymes of t day
zzz

btw, im so totally lk t song ps im still not over you
or at least, tts what t title seems to be s i type on

im wondering what's wrong

it's high time i start studying for eoys but dere seem to be countless things going tru my mind.
i cant even do maths at this tyme.
so screwedd

sucks to have so many things to worry abt at this point of tyme
have gotta worry abt tt piggy bro of mine coz he's lk having his Os soon and he aint studying yet,
Zhian coz he's lk totally screwing his lyfe,
Weijun coz his Nlvls' more or less screwed,
Meii coz i dno if she gna get into trouble with anyone & i dno if she gna hesitate to seek help if she reallie gets into trouble,
& if she does,i wont know if i gna even be of help.
etcetc

& lastly, im so totally having to control my emotions
it was real hard trying to let go & now tt i think im somewhat fine alrd, i aint gna let myself get into it again.
yes, i dont love u anymore, hopefully

fk t worries

t normal life;)

i suppose im finally back to normal after these few days
& so, welcome me back as i finally decide to update!
alrights, i noe i sld stop being lame

these few days were kinda normal in t sense tt nothing happend other thn t occasional ups and downs which is well..
btr thn t days whereby i hold onto memories which are btr forgotten
i guess no matter how stubborn a person is, dere gna be smth tt forces t person to accept things as they are.

& now f t official updates

14-o9
midautumn fest this yr was totally screwedd
family dinner sucks to t max coz everyone was lk so tensed up it was kinda a wonder all of us survived t dinner-,-

was kinda thinking tru stuff when this thought popped into my mind
midautumn fest is supp to be spent with t paternal family instead of t maternal one but ive nv spent a single midauntumn fest with relatives frm my dad's side
guess it's coz i dont even visit my granny except during cny each yr
unfilial to many but i suppose when my granny rej me since i was born, it was as though it was decided tt she wld nv be a part of my lyfe.
yeah, tt very gesture did IT.

granny was nv lk t storybook character kind towards me or my bro & will never be
i must admit i envy my cousins who enjoyed being pampered by her as i c them showered with affectionate hugs during my rare visits during cny
kinda set me wondering y she did THAT to me though i figured i wld nv understand
lameness.

16-o9
typical school day lk 15-o9 except tt i lamed tru bio.
had random thots for t entire period coz well, i cldn pay attention and had to self entertain
reflex action LOL!
[get y i fail bio now? it isn a reflex action]

today was pretty much lame as well
went to school sounding real man and sexy
totally cldn find my voice when i woke up
damns..tmr btr be btr

ohwells-shrugs-

i so hate being sick
damnit.
i dont mind t pills part tho i do have fantasies of over-dosing on them
but erh..
DAMNIT!
i haven got much of my voice left
yea..
it gna be so super irritating if i gotta go to school lk i left my voice at home tmr
i so freaking hope it aint gna happen T.T

ytd was LITING's bday(;
spent t whole day in town aft having lunch at cathay cineplex & getting LITING her adidas watch in plaze sing
HOHOHO
it was lk, yushan & i wanted to try our luck at getting sakae but awwwwww
FAILED
we're noobs, i agree

got mok her SUPER BELATED bday pressie
phew..
finally aint owing her anth xpxp

havta get my hwk done
didn manage to finish all of them aft waking up at 3 coz i fell aslp again 2 hrs ltr
OINK & tatas

so.. what's next?

-erasing of unwanted memories in progress-
10%...20%...33%...47%...54%...68%...79%...
*clicks cancel*
i.. wna look back at them one last tyme..
& this process simply keeps repeating i dno what to do either.

school reopened today.
awwwww..
was kinda crap & erh...
i was sleepy throughout

tution wasn any btr coz i was totally freezing and trying hardnot to fall aslp.
kinda pig yeas?
freezing yet still wanting to sleep =P
talked abt lame stuff such as insect rights
inspired by t tcher's act of killing some weird flies while they were copulating.
NOT TCHER BUT T FLIES YEA?
doubt t two flies even knew they died.
geez

ive got nth much to update abt, really.
& im irritated by how boring my updaes are.
DAMNX

girl, u really have to stop screwing up.
controlling ur emotions a lil bit more isnt too much to ask for yea?
it used to be so easy for u to mask all ur innermost feelings.
& so why didn u fucking do so? why cldn u just do something uve always been doing?
u control urelf in school, in front of ur frens.
why did u lose it at tt moment?
just a lil bit more control & evt wld be fine, u useless bitch.
no, u aint even it to be a bitch.
ure one fking stupid emotional whore.

yes. im angry with myself. & so what?

HAPPY 16th PIGGY BRO!

[ynoe wad i wna wish u]

oinking always(:
lalala

& horh.. ps f t tyme diff man!

i lk it this way(;

fell aslp in my own embrace in t midst of crying
sounds despo for love but yea, i just did it
feels fine to me.
somehow, it kinda comforts me instead
coz..
i realised it aint tt bad being on my own.
dont know why but i just lk t feeling of it

gaaas..
seriously i cant comprehend what's wrong with me.
i SHOULD stop being such a pessimist coz im really lucky as compared to many others in remote corners of t earth.
damnit.

i need a shooting star

im so freaking crap at cheering ppl up i desperately need to wish tt piggy bro gna cheer up:(
sry bro

and i wna wish tt i gna be able to let go of wdv feelings i have for u as easily as i give up on other stuff.
it kinda sucks tt u taught me to be contented with every bit of attention u bother paying me.
it aint t way tt's suppose to be working for me

i require so much more i think i need a meteor shower

i wish i cld be lk u.
indifferent.

yting l.

Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things.

love lies.

A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing.
I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:).
S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue.

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