nth worth believing in

50mre mins to Fish&Co. sadly, to work bt nt to eat x(
so freaking sleepy after ytd (or perhaps after work hours ytd)
got hme @ 3plus i think..
Hope th changes in cab arrangements wldn put Asri in a spot. & thx(:
sorry i was too tired to get hyped up after tt 2 glasses x.x wldve saved th trouble.
gaaahs.. im pissed w myself.
& thx HoMing for sending me hme & running back to pass me my hp >.<

thou shalt not attempt to drink when im tired.

baby,im sry today aint lk th usual 30th-s.
guess i changed & im really sorry ):
u said u cant feel it nw tt im neglecting u coz of work and stuffs.
it's th same on my side. th way u dont reply to my msgs and calls.
gaaaahs.. But still, u love me rights? xD awww..

im such a naughty monkey xP

experience allows people to read others lk a book bt im nt any of th "others".
if even i get confused by myself, i dont c hw much ppl can judge me.
i mean.. even my mum cant understand me.

if im a bitchslutwhore to u, so be it.
i dont care either

a break from being urs.
i guess im a silly girl. i know im used to being ur girl and yet chose to leave, for now.
it doesnt mean ive stopped loving u. perhaps not in th same way but still, i can love no other in th same way.

i wonder if i gna regret this decision.
i wonder if u gna take me back on 30Nov.
i wonder if we gna last past this period.

Believe in us.
tt's wad ive always said bt seems so difficult now.
i know u cant trust me too.
& i cant trust myself alr.
it seems so insane hurting u so much, walking away from u cause i need time to trust again, because i need to feel treasured.

请原谅我的自私.

lalas!
im finally updating after aaaaaages.
been kinda busy w work & stuffs. Fish&Co+Banquet.
dollars rolling in pretty slowly tho..
& it's tiring working lk tt bt i guess it's btr thn letting my dollars roll out somewhere. Hmmmm..

& im really sorry for neglecting a whole load of ppl coz i simply ignore my hp at tymes.
i'll be back to normal soon, hopefully.

& i guess smiling really helps tho it sucks having to plaster a smile on ur face when th thing i really wna say is "fk off la idiots"
mmm... so much for me providing service ^-^

been surviving bqt tho i srsly cant stop making mistakes.
tmd. demoralising >(
thank goodness th others r lk super nice.
&&&! ive got HM to rescue me almost all th tyme xD
ありがとうございます!

baby, im kinda stuck in th middle.
ever since u mentioned us going our own ways.
i guess.. th disappointment tt u said tt knowing i wldn hold u back again simply got me right dere.
u got my trust & u had to do it, again.
it makes me wonder if u ever really treasured me.
i hate building things up & having everything dashed in an instant, leaving me at where i started.
things have changed and i wonder if forever's even possible alr.
im sorry.

oh, random side note 1:
dere's work later again.
xD dollars!
random side note 2:
yting survived bqt w dorven. -applaude-
random side note 3:
i need hugs to sleep

just back from OrchardParadeHotel.
th couple tt got married tonight was suuuuper sweet & cute(:
th groom actually dedicated a song to th bride tho he just cant sing well xP
bt srsly.. he really <3 his wife a whole load from th way he sang.

wonder how my wedding gna be lk next tyme. [or will i even get married at all LOL]

hmmm...
working at 7am tmr before th 6pm wedding banquet.
soo freaking tired alr.
wellwell.. for th $$..
x.x

baby,
dyou noe tt im starting to have my doubts?
i wish u can be by me when im really tired. i just wna rely on u for tt bit of support.
yet, i dont seem to matter alr.
i guess nt wanting to "give me attention" is merely an excuse to just push me aside when u dont need me in th disguise of a joke.
我真的累了..但是你却不在.

im here to declare myself broke.
spent more thn wad ive been earning. so freakin dead if fish&co doesnt hire me.
i gna stop spending soooo much.
limit myself to 30/wk.

i hope i gna be able to do it x.x

JWee. im missing u loads >( ure such a dumbdumb lor.. bully me just coz other guys treat me well.. i noe u dont lk it so im ignoring them alr. TREAT ME BTR LUHHS! if nt i gna run away to my teddy alr! hmphff!

im such a lucky bitch(:
for having a sweet bf who's willing to see past my shortcomings [even though they affect him] & love me for who i am even tho he deserves so much better.

Bii! before i start, here's a pic for you(:
looked for it SPECIALLY FOR YOU ohkays?!

& anw, i still miss u ALOT.
woke up thinking of ytd when i made u angry=(

anw, i quitted my job @ th hp shop coz i refuse to work under ppl screwed up w planning.
lk hello?! is it sooo hard to tell me wad time i start work?
waited for 1 hr and was getting increasingly pissed off. so yea.. i simply walked out of it.
text-ed bii to tell him th good news tho i was freaking worried tt he wld be pissed off by my attitude.[good news partly coz he doesnt really lk th idea of me working dere]
tt boy's so noti.. he replied: i lk ur attitude xp on other guys only.. nt on me.
*shakes head*

& lil did i know..
little jobs can be fun too
had fun helping out xD
i guess it's a memorable exp
mm.. & Cass! th 17th(:

Baby, th pic says it all.
& that is regardless of what happens.

i dont lk making u upset

baby sent me a msg..
i dont know if it's a good thing or bad thing regarding th contents.
th tone of th msg was kinda weird..
dont know if it's a good thing or what..
damnit..
im getting flustered and worrying (hopefully unduly) again.

just got hme from banquet + fun xD
today was nt tt bad other thn for th fact tt i cant cut th fish & tt i spilt a lil bit of sauce on a nice uncle.
th guests today were pretty nice and understanding too ^-^
really grateful.
Post-OT was fun(:
kop-ing food & drinking + watching th "black jackets" drink [explains y im so late to reach hme]
ahwells.. sharing cab w Asri so gotta wait.
still, th chit-chat was enjoyable.

im soooo sleepy now
& mmm.. i think i forgot smth..
"i miss u bii" (:
think ur hpcash ran out rite.. no msgs for me..
always happens when u promise to be good.
so mean luhh ur hp! hmphff.. it always helps u to not be nice to me.

WEEWEE's HP'S A DUMBDUMB!

abrupt moodswing.
working at 10 tmr. my bed shall miss me @ 8am.
fks..

oh yea.. & i think idiots who do redundant stuffs irritate me.
dont bother asking. those who knows know -.-

been rather moody & cranky lately.
jameswee bears th bulk of th after effects but baby, tt doesnt mean tt i dun love u alr.
it's just tt ure th person i turn to when im really down.
& hmm.. u really made me smile w That msg.
heehee.. but being naughty, i cant help wondering if it's because SOMEONE sense competition. WAKAKAKA
im so evil.

but still, thx for wanting to be a gd bf despite evt<3

&butbut.. it's still sooo long before u come back.
&& i wonder if i deserve u

because u mean everything to me

im upset cause nobody @ home seems to really understand me.
& so, thx for standing by me dearest boy(:
u dont know how much it means to me.
true we've been tru loads of probs lately over other guys/girls (my guy frens, her)
alth it's my fault for doubting ur feelings for me based on th diff treatment & turning to my closer guy frens for comfort at tymes, thx for always believing in us.

& baby, this gna sound real pathetic but i nv wna be without u again.
2 mre months. i wish time cld fly.

HELLOOOOOO^-^
im not blogging because ive got nth to do.
fell aslp for 5 hrs after much crying.
woke up @ plus to put my face mask etc LOL!
my face=(

& baby, thx for th msg.
really cheered me up. sorry for venting my frustrations on u.
still, u put up w it. (i think u no choice rite? if nt i say u heartless)
i wont leave u for anyone, ever (promise. rmb?xD)
loves,

&& rvians are having their study week
goodluck peepo!
esp my propee+momok+gf+sqdm8s+++
HAHAS! they sure can do it de(:
dont be naughty and giv up uhs!

&&& last but not least,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIOUYIH! <3
let's go shopping for ur pressies after ur papers(:

well.. i wonder if i'm really ok..

pretty sick of everything esp things at home.
i do not lk doing housework(ps/ it's nt lk we cant afford a maid)
& i cant stand th nagging tt i do not do anth to help out.
for fk sake, i wash UR bras even. all u can do is nag & nag tt i dun do enough.
srsly... -rolls eyes- do i really have to help out whn i realise tt i actually face a wardrobe crisis simply because most of th stuffs washed belong to everyone else?
ure using a washing machine for god sake.
i'll be glad to do my own laundry, ironing and all if it means i dont have to do anth else at th rate things are going.

oh yes, & im sure i mentioned how much i hate & mopping th floor.
so if i do it, PLS APPRECIATE TT I BOTHER DOING SO. not scream & shout abt how it isnt mopped or show ur disapproval by giving me th silent treatment.
i do not see why i have to put in effort in compromising and doing things i hate to help out only to find myself screamed at.
if tt's th case, i rather get scolded for NOT DOING ANTH cause it gives more reasons for me to be blamed for things undone.

and really.. i hate living here.
i rather live alone & be free to do/be wdv i want.
im nt th daughter u guys have in mind & ive got no wish in growing up to be someone u accept, not someone i really am.
family? wow. oh-so-accepting.

ur reputation or me? sorry! ur choice, not.
i'll choose to be me.
im oh-so-sorry for th disappointment.
im disappointed too.

just back frm pasir ris + city plaza + bugis + dinner @ void deck opp tbplaza w momok xD
makes yting a happy girl despite th stupid cramps.
1. PasirRis
had my tragus pierced xD lk FINALLY!
momok had her third-second piercings.
lalas!
2. CityPlaza
boring place. makes me sleepy but we got shorts xDD
&! i swear im nv going dere again unless there's ppl going w me to teach me how to shop dere.
3. Bugis
no nice earrings=( nice navel studs(for after my bday) though xD
bought a shirt each and friendship bands.
clarine wanted a shirt which says " Always late but worth the wait". i beg to differ.
WAKAKAK!
and hmmm.. we saved $$ by choosing to save movie $ and kbox $ on food instead.
SUSHI + KOREAN RICE CAKES <3
4. TBPlaza & Dinner
bought KFC & headed to th voiddeck for reading & dinner (we had our own books lol)
i swear momok bullied me into eating th bigger chicken. [i lost th scissorspaperstone) made me less fit >.< (inside joke LOL)

& im finally home..
so sleepy! hope my ear gna be fine tmr.
LALAA! im so broke alr.
yet i cant help spending when im kinda unhappy.
shopping cures depression(:

just read through all his blogposts.logged into his acc and started reading them one by one.
they were all abt when he was with her.
i dont know if im regretting my decision to reread them.
my tears were flowing and srsly, it hurt more thn i expected.
i thot i cld handle it, tt i wldn be affected by th things sooo long ago.
i promised him i wldn let my thots wander but im sry.
all th things he did for her, all he felt cause of her.. theyre making me feel tt she's REALLY loved. =
im nt jealous of her tho i keep saying so. i guess im just fking hurt by how he cld really be a bf to her despite all i did.

im sorry baby. i cant help but think tt perhaps..
perhaps im just nt th one for u. if u really loved me, u cldve put in ur all lk u did for her. one day th right gal for u gna come along & when tt happens, just go ok?
maybe this whole thing was a mistake which is to be realised later on but till thn.. we'll just treasure th tyme we hav yea?

her ex wanted her back and was going all out to get her.
he said he wldn giv up & didn.
my exS want me back too. all u can say is "go lor",knowing tt i wldn. but wad if i really leave one day? wld u hold me back? or wld u have ceased to see th point to seeing tt i chose to give up first?
u wld wake up early in th morning to go out simply because she wanted u to.
getting u to go out w me... i think i dont have to continue.
& getting so worked up over th smallest things abt her, spamming her w msgs..
"sorry i lazy to reply"

fk.. im really sorry bii. i noe this post gna hurt u loads but i just need to vent my innermost feelings somewhere. & i need to stop crying.
i hate feeling inferior to other girls. & it's fking stupid coz it's so long ago alr.
im sorry bt i cant help it.
and for lying tt it's fine whn i cried real bad after reading ur msg.

u said "baby.. im sorry huh..sorry for treating u so badly.. as compare to my other rs uh.. i noe it is differest.. it isnt bias or anth uh.. i just dont hav th enthu to do all this stuff again uh.. i dno how uh"
i really wanted to be frank. initially, i wanted to vent it on u.
i wanted to tell u all tt i said above and how i feel tt im nt th one for u afterall but i didnt want u feel worse/ nt rest properly.
still, i really meant it when i said u dont have to be lk th way u were with her last time.
i still love u lots. love me too k?
yingting doesnt wna lose james wee=(

feeling btr by quite alot after th vodka & ranting.
i swear im a lousy drinker. either tt or vodka sucks.

goodnights. enough of crying.

Hellos(:
YINGTING PACKED HER WARDROBE!

bii! ur gal finally getting smth organised lol xpxp
but my room.. still in th same state, maybe worse from th tyme when u saw it.
still, it's a good start ohkays?

i'm such a good gal xD

& guess wad..
i stayed home th whole day.

Bii!!我好想好想你=(
把你吵醒,对不起哦!是真的太想你才忍不住打给你的啦!
可是你也很猪好不好..
那么早睡就算了, 要你说你爱我好像要你的命lor..
hmphff! 本小姐不生气了啦!

rawr! but my dumbo bii so tired.. lk so poor thing also lor..
IDIOT!

要生气也不忍心了.

been lazing arnd th whole day.
decided to be a good gal & stay home but well, i guess my resolution wasnt firm enough xP
funny that i spent 4hrs on th lappy doing nth but watching Celeb to Binbo Taro.
nicenice(:

oh.. & th decision to make my blog private?
smth along th lines of divine powers & info tt my mum got abt it.
had to lock it before she reads my posts x.x
i guess im just used to shutting myself out.
dont need her to be nagging my ears off regarding my "deserate needs for bii" and "bitchiness abt various issues" on top of vulgarities.
GOT TO SAVE MYSELF xD

off to pasir ris to meet momok for dinner later xpxp
really, so much for staying at home LOL!

yting l.

Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things.

love lies.

A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing.
I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:).
S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue.

May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012

Designer : Chili.
x o x o