nth worth believing in

hellos! & uhohs.
im sooooo dead coz ive been naughty enough to be spending my study time on other stuff.
yea.. ive yet to complete studying despite being in BMlibrary for hours>.<
less than halfway tru studying, i missed babyJ sooooo much i was just staring at th pics of him in my hp [wow right?xp]
& den...
i decided to attempt drawing a cartoon version of MrJamesWee xD so dere his face is, on my POM notes. AHAHA!
got down to abit of slightly more serious studying before i let my mind wander AGAIN.

& this time, i headed to th shelf w/ recipes for books on baking. ROFL
evt's lk sooooo freaking difficult luhhs!
maybe next year... if we're still tgt -winks-
for now, i shall hope tt my impish plan works out xDD

off to shower and hopefully complete POM.
sosososososo dead. zzZ

bii! IM STILL WAITING FOR UR MSG>.<

im here to COMPLAIN before i head out to murder my braincells by th cruel means of studying.
MY BRO'S GF IS A DAMN GOOD ALARM CLOCK CAN?!
she calls every sunday at 10plus.
& to make things worse, it's th call-every-5to10mins-if-nobody-picks-up thing.
super duper piss me off esp when im bathing.
it was lk.. th fone rang 4 times truout th 40plus min i was doing my face stuff etc.
grrrr..im so gna tell him to tell her tt ive got my own alarm clock in my room,thx alot.

MUAHAHAAH! im so evil. xP
but not as evil as JAMESWEE. he doesnt spare me from his teasing at all lol!

& to EugeneTan
wdv u wanted to tell me, i dont really appreciate a phone call to my hse at 12mn.
i srsly dont mind keeping in contact w u as a friend but i dont lk it when ppl call and hang up repeatedly. & i dont care if it's only TWICE. ive got super low tolerance for such stuff in case u dont know. sorry if i sound mean but im pissed off. lk hello?! i called back and noone picked up, u got ur fren to call me and when i called back again u refuse to talk. I CAN FINISH STUDYING A PAGE IN TH 5MINS.
explains y i didn bother picking up th 3plus call. cant be bothered to.
talk next tyme when u can treat me NORMALLY

going out alr.
LOVES!& bii, u btr study hard horh!

hellos(: yting th slow poke's back to update
i only completed chapt 1 of POM
planning to slp at 4. mug!

im lk eating energy bars now-,-
part of my lame attempts to stay awake.
think it gna give my more fats than energy lorh=(
ltr JAMESWEE dowan me coz i too fat how?? rawrr!
i so love tt silly boy of mine tho he's sooooooooooo unbelievably lazy.
lalas.

bii! hinting for u to not be so lazy le horh xD
hehs. & he's super naughty too! keep disturbing me over sms.
next time i gna take note of th no of times and punish le horh!
xD
tt's if i bear to LOL!

& th bruises are lk pain can?!

RAWR! im soooooo freaking angry now.
initial plan was to wake up early and study but plans changed.
wanted to start by 3 latest but cldn think of where to go.
typed out pom notes for weijie on msn while pondering and weijun called.
he got ps-ed by stead & wanted to go out.
set th place and he fking pissed me off over th time.
waste my time & ps me. nice one.

& SO IM DAMN ANGRY.
th stress is alr kiking in. ive got to start on POm & ive still got MacroEc.
ANGRY LA. goddamnit.

freakfreakfreak.
i think my study mood flew out of th windows somewhere.

woke up abt every 2 hours reaching for th hp & falling back aslp not knowing how im feeling again and again.
was supp to finally wake up at 7am to study but i guess i was too tired. checked th hp again. still nth.
wondered if i sld drag myself outta bed and start on midsems prep but forced myself aslp despite th stress to complete POM.
knew i only gna be wondering when he gna reply. at least, time seems to past faster when im aslp(:

woke up at 9plus due to a fone call from home [yea. my bro was calling from th living room] & im my half-aslp state, all i caught was "th baby bird die alr"
i dont know whether to be angry at him or what.
he said it's breathing was irregular and he fed it water when it opened it's beak.
felt lk screaming but he meant well.
yet HOW TH FK COULD HE BE ACTUALLY SO STUPID?
perhaps im just angry at myself for not being able to do anth. i dont know.
somehow it feels lk it was just ytd i cut up worms to feed it. & it seemed lk it just fell aslp in my palms.
it feels so much my fault, that i didn take good care of it causing it to die.
it was still fine ytd i dno what went wrong.
hearing th calls of birdie's parents outside my window [yes tts where they always flew arnd] i dont know if they're blaming us for not taking care of their kid well.
i dont even know if they knew birdie's dead.
i suppose they knew it was dying. we put birdie outside th house every morning so they cld tc of it was well.
it's mama sometimes feeds it too. & they were always in tt area looking out for birdie.
& so why didn they do anth?

im getting ridiculous.
i'll be fine after a good cry.
most prolly heading out to study but i dno where i gna go.

bye birdie.

~~i dno why im feeling so alone now. & i dno what exactly went wrong too. imy. &baby, im sorry~~

yea. i did say i wna study hours ago. & ive yet to get started.
th book's beside me. wdv blank papers i need are beside me. my pencilcase's in front of me.
all set to study. yet i cant stop my mind from wandering.
i cant help but keep pondering abt y babyJ asked tt qn, why he got moody suddenly.
somehow it seems to be smth i did but i cant recall.
freak me for being so tactless wdv it is.

halfway tru he sent a msg asking if i even feel a sense of sercurity with him.
i guess this qn reflects part of th reasons y he got upset/moody.
im sorry bii.. as i said, it isnt ur fault im lk this. & im sorry it's affecting u.
i noe u aint lk th other guys but certain exps are really hard to forget.
it's lk.. those that dont matter simply dont matter at all and those that do are usually those that disappointed me loads. im really sorry our rs has to be influenced by th past.my past.
give me time alrights? it gna get btr, i promise.
th last thing i want will be for u to feel lk me when i was tgt with M, tt evt seems lk a result of his past rs.
i love u & i noe u love me too(:dont leave me coz of this?
im reallyreally sorry i didn realise it earlier as well.
there's so much mre i wna say but i cant seem to put them down in words. fk. im going nuts alr.
waiting & waiting for a reply.
evt th fone vibrates, my heart gna skip a beat& im gna get all disappointed again.

[fell aslp staring at th hp. 0134am now]
im totally crying now coz of th absence of a reply despite lk th hours which flew past. freaking afraid babyJ gna leave me/ was thinking abt it.
it's just a reply but fks. im breaking down over it.
tell me it doesnt matter wld u? hug me close and tell me not to be silly, pls.

& remind me tt we gna be tgt forever & always.

it's 1915hrs and th good gal's home alr(:
unbelievably well-behaved right? xD
since i was tooooo lazy to update ytd, i gna start with it(:
had too much fun to not blog abt it(:

28/05 HAPPY BDAY ANTY TAY YILING!
1 reached school before Kerhui dajie who's usually th first xDD & for th first tyme in my entire sem, i wasnt late for F&B xD & this miracle occured coz i had to borrow notes to study for th test. pretty much screwd up tho.

2Cheese Tasting
spent th entire hour after th test on tasting dairy products9:
we had Cottage Cheese, Cheddar, FULL FAT milk, some Smoked cheese, Sour Cream, a pineapple-smelling cheese & BLUECHEESE xD
poor Kerhui looked lk she's gna puke & kerry was complaining abt most of th cheeses. super fun lol!
MrKwok lessons are always fun tho i hate th tests.
guess wad.. I SO TOTALLY LOVE TH CHEESES. I WANT CHEESE!!
blueblueblue esp ^^ & SOURSOUR CREAM<3

3Contact Lenses;D
for those who're sick of hearing me say "i want my colour contacts", ure spared frm tt alr(:
went for th consultation and collected my nicenice Grey,Brown & Blue contacts.
th lady was soooo super nice and patient! good thing i learnt pretty fast tho i had a hard time getting th contacts out ltr on. TSK
& th only bad thing's tt my eyes are too freaking dry. makes it feel uncomfy at times but still, xD

4Shopping with MomokSWLC
City Hall-ed & Bugis-ed for 10's pressie & a wallet for bii. had such a hard time looking for and choosing them luhhs. Killed a million braincells >.<
hehs. th two of them ought to be touched XD
wanted to get 10 a wallet initially but we cldn find any nice ones that suits her style>.< chnged our mind to tops & ended up with a necklace lk FINALLY.

plus food and th book i bought for myself, total damage done: est. 115$
SUPER LOL

_____TODAY_________________________________________________
attended Ec tutorial & skipped F&B lecture coz i was having super irritating cramps & backache.
sucks to th max.
plus, F&B lectures on Fri are always not condusive.
loads of crashers and thus loads of noise. super dumb.
bought lunch & cabbed to bii's house coz i was too lazy to brave th hot sun and walk over with th food. ^(oo)^
bii was duper cute lol!(he still is xD but he was SUUUPER cute just now)

had slurpee on my way home. hope i wun suffer th consequences>.<
damn shyts. im still damn pissed tt i freaking have to have my period ytd. totally..
*rolls eyes*
cant it lk start tonight or smth >(

random note: I NEED A JOB REAL BAD.

& bii, thx for th watch<3 hope u lk th wallet. hmmms.. tho i dont quite know y u got moody aft tt, just want u to noe tt i love u loads. dont think tt u aint good enough alrights?

zutto issho ni itai means i wna stay w u forever(:

timecheck: 0355 (28/5)
moodcheck: missing babyJ. half fretting

HAPPY BDAY TAYYILING aka SUPERDEFENDER TAY 10

wondering what im doing online at this hour when ive got school and test at 9am in th morning urh?
simple, i dozed off and just woke up.
realised tt i cant open th notes Kaijing scanned me.
& thx Kaijing for taking th trouble to help my scan th stuff(: really, thankyou loads!

cont.
yea. i woke up. & realised ive yet to finish studying.
i DONT NOT EVEN HAVE TH NOTES TO.
wish me luck peeps.(oh.. THX PROPEE FOR IT)
no matter what, im still looking forward to ltr.
it's THURSDAY & tmr's Friday(: finally...

&baby, th happiest times are when im with u, really. even if i do get naughty and stubborn at times(:
i wna be urs forever & always

i gna be off to sprint tru my notes soon.
i cant even afford to run tru them. sprint and hope i rmb th stuff. or rather th qns tt come out tmr gna be stuff i rmb xD

*
rmb th babybird in my previous post?
fed it water when i got home. th poorthing was trying to poop and it cldn but being super silly, it refused th water until i poured abit on it's beak.
den it was squacking for more. & IT POOPED ON TH NEWSPAPER I JUST CHANGED AS IT'S BEDDING.
shifted it from th box into a container lined w tissue paper. hope it likes it's new bed more(:
birdie was suuuuper cute when i helped it sit up to c if dere was anth wrong with it's wings. think one of them's injured. maybe gna bring it to th vet when it's older? coz i doubt they can help it now given it's [i dno how to describe] state.
apparently birdie thot im it's mama or smth. it kept trying to get smth tho i dno what):

& MY HOUSE HAS CREEPY CRAWLIES NOW>.<
daddy bought worms for birdie but it can only eat toufu now i think.. uncle said so.
dont lk th worms. disgusting wriggly thing=( ewww.
*

school today was -dozes off- ...
yea.. slept tru econs revision lecture waking up to reply msgs from fuzzy. DEAD x.x
& commSk was th same.
msged babyJ random stuff randomly loL! think im going nuts. RAWR
lunched w Jane+Shirley & towned alone.
were talking abt infidelity during lunch. th wad wld u do if ur husband had an affair thing.
thot abt it and came up with 3 possible reactions. LMAO.
all of them varies. lk OMG. starting to think ive got split personality.
& noe smth?
dere was this lady who put up with her husband and his affair for 8 years. she allowed him to bring th slut back, gave up her place in th house (yes, incld her room) & even allowed th 3rdparty to abuse her simply coz she believed her husband wld some back to her/ help her one day. & yea, she gave him a second chance after he threw th 3rdparty out when tt bitch told th wife to wash her undies for her. & yea.. they got back tgt. second chances and all.
i dno whether to admire her or what.
8 LONG YEARS it took him to do smth. WOW. if it were me, i wldve left or at least sued tt bitch for th abuse. & i wldve left after i tolerated th two of them for 8 years.
i mean, if my guy gna take that long, i'll assume he's mentally disabled. tt bitch can be his maid. simple(:

woah.. i think im scary.
im done blogging randomly.
& im sadded coz i didn manage to get babyJ a wallet=(
tmr aft getting my lenses while shopping w Clarine hopefully..
DAMNS ME AND MY TASTE.

&i smiled staring at my hp coz u were smiling in th pic(:
im sure i love u. dyou love me th same way?

i think im losing it & i doubt i gna be able to handle tt.
forget it. probably & hopefully my overreactive mind.
missing babyJ=( sucks tt it's only tues coz we only gna meet on fri if nth crops up.
>.
RHT suckd today.
got sacar-ed by th dumb tcher over smth which was so not wrong.
glared at her & simply gave her th i-just-dont-lk-ur-face look truout.
tsk. CONTROL.
commsk1 next. i dno wad was going on coz i was zzz-ing.
damn tired i dno y.

& finally, school ended xD
lunched & off to labs for POM QUIZ.
it was super funny coz Kerry,Shirley,Jane & i took turns doing it.
& it was lk while 1 person was doing, dere were3 other ppl flipping frantically tru notes for th ans xD
hope we all gna do well lol!

studied @ bedok library w/Jc tho i really cldn get anth in.
damns. so doomed.
& to think i skipped floorball trgn to study.
IT'S TH LAST TRGN UNTIL AFTER TESTS? sad.
&baby, im really sorry i gave u such lousy attitude=( & im sorry im such a bad gal

oh btw, can anyone teach me how to care for a baby bird?
it still hasn grown feathers and cant open its eyes.
think it fell from th nest. super poorthing=(
super scared it gna be cold at night/ th ants or cat gna get it.
yet, its mama wun be able to find it if we bring it into th house.
tell me what to do>.<

off to chalet now.
kinda decided to go in a huff.
just got th urge to get away. i dno wads wrong & im confused.
dont know y he got so stressed & frustrated.
& ive got no idea how to cheer him up.
i dont even dare text him again coz he may get irritated further.
im a bad gf aint i?

i wish u knew what ure thinking abt. & i wish i knew how to make u happier. im sorry it was neither.

overdue updates(:
decided to give blogging a miss coz of my mood but well, after a suuper long slp & reading babyJ's msg th first thing i woke up, im fine now despite th initial "omg-i-didn-reply" thought which struck me upon checking hp xP

23/5
ytd's friendly was a flop.
wolfies totally disgraced ourselves. no, we didn lose.
we ruined our reputation in a way far worse.
still, i think both teams learnt alot from it afterall(:
imreallysorrywolfies.

&im starting to think tt im pretty.. not pretty only but pretty much dumb>.<
hahas! im not so bhb alrights? xD
took 14 from Bedok int w/o really knowing where i was heading.
alighted at th stop near bii's house aft getting super freaked tt i cant recog my surroundings loL!
& th best part was tt i kinda got "lost" in th estate.
i so freaking will not have any probs finding my way arnd during th day but nt in th night. RETARD.
but still, being intelligent, i eventually found th way myself [actually coz i dare not msg him >.< lk so dumb luhhs!]
& btw, i think katong has LOADS of nice food. iwantiwant!
*****
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIBIN(:
heading to his chalet ltr to celebrate but im in a super dilemma now.
i dont really wna bring my school books, tmr's clothes, perfume etc dere but it makes sense for me to stay over coz it's sooooo much nearer for me to get to school tmr.
& i think i gna play until late into th night and be too tired for school tmr.
if not, it gna be a case whereby i wna start studying but cant conc.
thirdly, im officially broke.
zZ

in case u peeps are wondering why im even studying, it's coz midsem's NEXT WEEK & im so not prepared for lk evt?!
plus th upcoming F&B test. totally pissing me off.
double=( thinking abt tests and facial at 330.
i guess it's tutorial time if i ever get th mood.

silly<3

finally blogging(:
& i fianlly met babyJ after aaaaaaages of not meeting.
loveloveloves!
happyhappy xD

met momok aft tt for dinner & angels&demons.
th show was well.. not bad tho it ended pretty late.
& thx R(:

cramping lk mad now.
irritated. goddamn pain.
& i hate acting lk a worm (curled/bent) zZ

off to self entertain now
goddamns tired.
floorball ltr(: &;(

-edit-
bii(: i drank warm water le. gna slp alr. bet u went into lalaland long ago lol!
love u loads. im sry for wad i did. & thx for trusting me<3
u said to have faith in u & tt u aint lk him. i will. & i gna have faith in us too xD dont let me down horhh! ^^ *hugs*

im supposed to be in school.
&im supp to complete my product spec sheet.

but too bad xD
im NEITHER in school nor trying to complete t dumb spec sheet ^^
feeling super happy abt getting 2x my usual slp time xDD
lalala~

in case u peepo are thinking what a noti girl i am, it wasnt my fault th dumb comp off-ed by itself when i was left with only 1 box to fill in.
as a result, my past efforts flew outta th window.
i was lk.. WTF! im damn tired alr can?!
& in my moody state, i decided to give up on it until today.
if mrKwok doesnt want my work anymre, im screwed coz it's GRADED.
shall nt worry so much over it. shall complete this post & prepare to go get my mc and eventually end up in school for proj discussion(:

th past few days were lk.. CRAZY.
my mood was fluctuating between super Highs and Lows.
& guess what..
IVE BEEN WALKING INTO THINGS/PEOPLE.
zZ
embarrassing.. eek!
but th worse was when i fell aslp on th train and realised tt i was somewhat leaning against a stranger guy. LK OHMYGODS.
th guy was nice enough to not wake me up & guess what..
his gal was slping on th other side of him.
lucky she wasnt awake>.<
sld srsly stop doing weird things lk tt consciously or not.zZZ

i wna mit babyJ>.<

yawns.. im slpy. superbly.
wish me luck for commsk test ltr.
i guess i deserve to fail if i did coz i didn prepare well for it.
ahwells..
& wish me luck for trgn.

missing babyJ.
tt silly made me worry lor..
he's lk tired out frm chalet alr & dere was soccer.
arghs..
bii, tc alrights? dont want u to fall sick.>,< loves.

i just rmb tt ive got introHtm test to study for again. lmAO.
sososososo dead-ed.
maybe studying w kaijin th emogirls magnet.

i need a whole load of lucks really..

ive got a bad feeling abt this but still..
baby i love you(:
wondering when we'll be able to meet again.
it was torturous at tymes w/o u last week until friday i it dont want it to be th same again this week ='(

i feel lk throwing tantrums and making u give in to me, hugging me whenever i want &
telling me tt u love me when i feel lk it too>.<

highlights of th week:
monday- part1 of 1/? projs done
tues-Floorball!
fri-super short day(:
sat-Floorball orientation, Friendly w/ simei ite, 1week to 1st mth with babyJ<3
sun- shopping?

~~lowlights~~ of th week
monday- interview for service ambassadors x.x
tues- CommSk1 test [study for introHTM despite being darn tired coz i cant seem to really rmb anth due to my mood]
wed- introHTM test [+ get f&b done]
thurs- class presentation(F&B) & ive yet to get started
fri- dno what im supp to do..
sat- gna have to wake up darn early [+ study&tutorials]
sun- ??

im updating AGAIN!
hahas! dont bother reading(:
im just here to announce tt im going kukus all thx to studying.
look at my super unglam msn dps & u get what i mean..
th no-fringe-plus-specs gloomy/ overly high looks LMAO.
wonder wad propee gna say if she sees them xDD

dupers stressed up wanting to do well yet not getting used to having to study.
i mean.. i spent my 4yrs of sec school life slacking my ass off in school & getting into minor troubles here and dere luhs.
plus dere were nice tchers lk mrLiu to push me but now i guess it's more of self-motivation.
& im so-not-motivated.

parents are at tcc now with bro & im thinking of MUDPIE.
didn go along so i cld get stuff done. I WANT MY MINTFRAPPE toos >.<
food's flooding my thots. as always when im stressed.
i need my comfort food: chocs, chips, icecreams, salads, cakes, bubble teas..
somehow they ps-ed me altogether..
rawrs;(

just saw saw an email from Ogawa.
gotta choose jersey no. FLUSTERED..
i think i will continue floorball until i really cant take t stress(:
pretty ironical how smth i enjoy so much can stress me out as well.
it's lk.. i love&am happy playing but i get super depressed over my sub-standard performance at th same time.

reflected on what went wrong subconsciously while studying just now.
im just not applying wdv i learnt. im totally acting lk i just started coz i hav th stupid mentality tt th others got way more exp and so i can nv play as well as them.
#1 got to stop it.
#2 stop losing th ball so easily. it's lk wad stella says.. u only lose th ball so easily coz u dont shield it well. & when u lose th ball so damn easily, jolly well get it back
#3 maintain possesion of th ball even when "stuck" until dere's a way to pass. im either passing to NOBODY or simply losing it way to easily coz i freak out. zZ
#4 dont stress up so easily when someone's trying to get th ball coz tt person's reaction will always be a result of wdv u do. [so dere's lk not much reason to be stressed coz 1,dere's time to think. 2,got adv stress for wad lols!]
#5 go for th ball coz it aint gna roll to u THAT nicely.

hopefully i gna be able to play btr.. confidence. lk what ppl's forever telling me..

dinner(:

whees! here's to my 5o2th post.
& im noti.. i fell aslp again. dno why im so tired.
3rd time alr. was studying when i fell into lalaland.
crushed abit of my notes & yea.. i gna reprint th 2 pages i drooled on. EEEWW..

so much for hardcore studying.
BUT, i WILL finish it by 6.
& get my Euthanasia shyts done by 930, latest 10.
gna make babyJ happy tt he has a goodgal gf who can prioritise & get stuff done no matter what xD

& I SO WNA COMPLAIN!
someone went chalet ytd & took SUPER long to reply my msgs so many tymes lor..
i was only slow at 3 points of time i think >.<
and 1 msg came at 0158hrs asking me if im aslp.
super silly-fied but still <3 (;
so how are u gna make up for it? xDDD
lalas~

STUDYSTUDYSTUDY!
i just updated in byzantine blog ^^
think i lamed everyone out.

sld i change my url?

TIREDD! & ive really got to STUDY xD
coz i promised babyJ i will.
motivate me please>.<
im missing him loads&loads&loads&Truckloads

went out with MomokSim&PropeePan just now
AnchorPt, Queesway,Suntec&Marina.
we had late lunch-cum-dinner@Jack'sPlace & guess wad.. MOMOK & I ARE OFFICIALLY BROKE.
babyJ chided me for spending so much tho i didn have alot of $$ left>.<
PROPEE TH BEST! she bought hellokitty stuffs which cost a BOMB for Alice.
& we cldn stop laughing at PANDAKITTY.
super funny laa..
awww... someone bought th hellokitty ring i wanted

queensway was un-fun coz dere was nth to retail therapy on.
&so, we cabbed to Suntec.
PROPEE HUGGED MEE! HAPPPYHAPPY! <33333 -lesTendency acting up xD-
shopped arnd in Suntec&Marina but bought nth.
ultimately, we ended up in TCC for FOOD.
(EbonForest)cake(ClassicMarbleCheese)cake(Tiramisu)cake&(Breakfast)tea. $$ fly away AGAIN.
& guess wad.. PROPEE PEED HER PANTS IN TCC.
ohkay.. she didn. but she looked lk she did due to her kukuness.
see la! trying to upstage me when i was going kuku from being super tired+tt PUNY bit of alcohol.
dere was this super catalyst effect LOL!
spent loads of tyme laughing at her all th way until we parted.
i giggled to myself in th cab too! think th uncle freakedout.
IT WAS SRSLY FUNNY LAA
PPP!see.. im nice horhh! i nv say wad happened xD

gna prep to STUDY alr.
after all th fun of going out with them <3
tho my wallet seems lk it went on a succesful crash diet now LOL>.<

& baby, im missing u real bad now..
promise tt u wun ever leave me xD

4letters, 1 word x3

i MISS bii real bad now.
&yes, i LOVE u xD

FUCK i aint registering wdv i read/studied into my brain.

as u peeps can prolly see, my brain cells are fried alr.

hellos(: im back from lalaland tho i wish i cldve stayed dere for a longer period of time.
loads of things to be done & OMG.
im updating, still.
-screams-

[pls ignore tt bimbotic/bitchy part above]
im updating coz i wanted to ytd but was unknowingly kidnapped into lalaland by th lalsters(lala monsters) xD

thurs was a freak boring day & i screwed up my Vanilla presentation.
stupids. i missed out so many points coz ya.. kinda still jumpy over being late AGAIN.
i think mrKwok hates me. or hmm... i gna get into trouble soon..
CHANGI AIRPORT-ed with Jane,KerHui,Kerry,Shirley.
& KH+S+Me had an awweeeesomeee meal at breeks cafe xD [J&K had LerkThai]
freak tt we had to do service rating. otherwise we gna be able to just EAT&have fun.
KH's line for th day "wo you huan service tax de leh!" super funny [inside joke]
took LOADS of fotos but im lazy to upload. maybe sometyme when i feel lk it.
^[oo]^
speed shopping @tampmall after tt with KH&S
wanted to buy identical clothes to look gay in school when we walk tgt LOL!

ytd<3
i was late for school AGAIN. it took 20mins to CAB from bedok to TP.
so not funny. not to mention th fare was (x.x)
slacked arnd abit after school & headed to J's house.
was supp to bathe his dog tgt but he was too LAZY so poor doggy didn get to bathe.
he's so mean right? doggy sld bite him xD
ended up attempting to study in th room but didn. guess im just naughty lol xD
babyJ<33 -random-

btw, doggy's more well behaved alth still as noisy xD
super duper cute!
dinnered at tiong w/ MOMOKSIM & home-d.

&yea.. i wldn be contacting M anymore.
guess i was simply buying time to totally forget him.
forgotten but th lies were not forgiven so it's pointless even if we stayed frens.
-shrugs-
anw think it gna be btr for bii&i lk tt too(:
goodlucks M. & all th best in evt u do xD

baby gna go chalet today &he doesnt have a hp.
SUPER RAWRS. but nvms(: he's mine always xP

oh.. before i go, i REALISED I CAN STILL BE FREAKING FIERCE.
so amazed LOL! lk when i get real angry im no diff from how i was last time.
good or what?
maybe it's bad coz i gna get into real trouble if i dont control myself but still,
if any bitches out dere piss me off real bad.. xD WHEEEEEEE
ive so gotta thank tt bitchslutwhore for allowing me to realise that by pissing me off so badly.
who th hell is she to comment when she doesnt noe me in person? & dere wasnt even a NEED to put me in th picture. i DO NOT wish to be associated with her.
ask those who know(:
ahwell.. i shall leave her to fk an elephant if it doesnt get put off by her.
acc to pro, even a cockroach wldn want it from her.
& added on by me, it's even degrading to th roach much as i hate roaches.

see what i mean? im still super abusive verbally.
& perhaps violent too.
i dont mean those smacks/whacks.

tatas!
momok-ing ltr & perhaps with PPPan too xD
HAPPYHAPPY~

i hate it tt im losing my temper when im chatting with babyJ on msn.
im really sry for th tone & th f words. im sry for getting angry at u tho it's just not ur fault.
i cant help it. trying to keep my attitude in check but im failing.
acting lk a kid & throwing tantrums aint gna help improve my mood but i so freaking wish ure right by me & getting upset tt u aint.
im being unreasonable i know. sry. i need to get over this moody-ness.
just noe tt im still loving u loads despite evt(:

these two days kinda sucks.
maybe dere were things which made them slightly better but i cant seem to cheer up, still.
perhaps if i had blogged ytd, i wldn be feeling so upset coz i wld have "let go" of some negatives buggine me since ytd.
i was just so tired i fell aslp shortly upon reaching home.

my non-existent ability to play floorball's a freaking huge disappointment to me.
considering giving up playing tho i was trying to do my best ytd.
it was simply a bad best. super disappointed in myself.
& th snrs hate me coz i scream. but pls, tt's th way ive ALWAYS been.
other thn tt, i screwed up at th basics & i fell agn during trgn. LK WTF's WRONG WITH ME?

walked th wrong way to th gate aft trgn.
it was so freaking dark & i got scared. dere were noone else arnd and it was damn dark at th noticeboard area. all th way to th stairs.
was totally wishing J's dere with me but well, he isnt so wdv.
kept telling myself to be brave tho i was super near tears alr.
i hate myself for being so weak. freak it

went out without my EC book tday & had to cab to school after going home to get it.
$20 flew away just lk tt. wow.
guess it's simply inevitable coz im stupid enough to leave it at home when deres no point in going to lecture without it. im just DUMB.
thank goodness babyJ was msging me(: super happy to see his msg in th morning lol
had horrendous fried kwaytiao from bizpark. nearly puked my ass off tho it was fun braving th disgusting food with KH&Shirley& seeing S get high xD. we didn finish th food coz yea.. it was too damn GROSS.

library session in attempt to read tru stuff for tmr's trip to changiAirport with lovelies(JANE,KERHUI,KERRY,SHIRLEY) was ok until he* came along.
was away & when i got back, he was sitting at where i used to sit before i left.
tt was ok with me until i suspected tt he looked tru my bag. th arrangement of things just looked diff &yea.. I HATE IT WHEN PPL(GUYS ESP) RANSACK MY BAG W/O PERMISSION.
didn reallie feel anth until Shirley told me tt he looked tru my stuff when i was away.
got freaking fed up & pissed off tho yea, i guess i overreacted la.
he's lucky i pretended to laugh it off.
& luckier tt i merely whacked him real hard with a book while treating it as a joke.
so freaking wanted to slap him at tt point of time.
i just value my privacy THAT much.

Food session with shirley aft school was <3 made me feel btr & LOOK! tt was wad we had. nicenicenice

RV-ed for my olvls results slip and thn back to Tamp to meet clar for dinner, shopping&books.
reached home at 11++ >.<
thot of lots of stuff on th long journey back home. emoed.
parents were nagging which contributed to part of my foul mood.
+ im stressed up over tmr's presentation. if i suck, im screwes. most prolly tt's what gna happen.
+ realised tt Baby's hp fked up to moment i logged into msn.
super -.- dno whether to cry or smth.

rmb when we first started, i told u i need loads of attention & tt im super reliant on my guy?
im trying to be more independent, to believe tt out feelings wun fade even if we dont see each other tt often but im failing terribly.
if M&i saw each other so much mre but he still_______, i dno if it gna be so much easier for us given th tyme we spend away from each other.
it sucks to be feeling so away from u, really.
esp when im feeling super moody.
& yea.. to make things worse, we cant even really msg tt much alr & ur hp had to spoil.
freaks.
i know it aint ur fault & ure alr trying ur best.
love u loads(: tc alrights?

-ChangiAirport tmr(:-
cheerups gal^^

babyJ still loves me xD
happyhappy!
but he bullies me, always. mean.
yepp. babyJ's a MEEEANO
but he's still loved by me(:

lalas! btr not take me for granted or i gna BITE. real hard. ^^
RAWRRRR!-shows teeth-

im goddamn slpy. explains y im blogging lk a kid.
more thn half of my braincells are in hibernation until tmr.
but still, u peepo get th main point right?
YTING LOVE JWCK

&baaah! school today sucks
i skipped rht again.
gna pop into some i dno wad class IntroHTM lecture tmr since ive got a suuuuuper long tyme before floorball.
planning to get stuff printed as well so yea.. got to bring paper along.

floorballfloorballfloorball~
but tt means tt ive got loads of stuff to bring tmr.eek

wish me luck.
i hope i dont suck on court.

ps my nails are so fking short they look STUPID
pps im so freaking missing J

slpy, tired, in tears, forcing myself to laugh & still updating.
im not thinking straight & im a lousy drinker. LMAO
freaking pissed tt im nt drunk yet cant think straight as well
just grabbed my dad's beer so i wldn end up in tears during dinner. true it kept me slightly happier for awhile but th effect doesnt seem to last.
freak.

trust him. stop being paranoid.
yet i cant seem to trust myself enough to be able to do so.
he merely said he gna be busy & i let my thots wander.
BabyJ loves me still. tt wasnt an excuse to distance himself lk what others say.

ohfk. im dno.
i hate myself for thinking so negatively, for not believing enough in us.
sorry baby. i guess im just too afraid too lose u tho it's higly inevitable.
im having too high hopes on th forever&always we "promised" each other.
tell me u love me. tell me ure busy with school/soccer/? &tell me ur feelings havent faded & will not fade. even if it's just to keep me going

im crazy. simply aint thinking straight/rationally.
but still,
if u ever stop loving me(maybe not now but in future), dont try to go on with th rs thinking u gna be able to get th feeling back alrights? dont stay with me coz of responsibility cause u aint gna be happy.

for now, i gna try my best to be independant.
i'll be waiting coz i still love u,loads (:

2days w/o meeting alr.
i cant help thinking of th time we spend at th stairs, downstairs his hse, at th playground etc,wishing he's just beside me now.
i wna fall aslp with him hugging me
& i didn realise how much i missed him until i actually dreamt of him in th snatches of slp i had during facial.
it was a happy dream yet i cant rmb what it was abt. silly me.

a little more of crying. before i slp.
goodnights(:

hello aliens(:
im going nutty from trying to plan what im supposed to do.
ewwwws>.<
feel lk not bothering. tempted to just be prepared to fail evt but ive alr promised J tt i gna work hard.
hmmms..
&M as well..

reached home 3hrs plusplus ago[it's 0141hrs now] after SHOPPING&dinner-cum-supper w/ momokSim xD
bought a dress & she gave me another.
weets!
THANKYOU MOMOK<3 for th SUPERDUPER early pressie! xD
which reminds me tt SOMEONE still doesnt noe when my bday is.
tsktsk..
any kind souls willing to tell him?^_^

i think J's sick of me alr.
received super lil msgs frm him on top of being deprived of hugs&kisses today.
shall not think too much. shall trust him. shall..

urgh.
forget it.
i'll go get some work done before getting my ticket to lalaland

it srsly sucks to be living th life that's expected by others of me.
i hate th control, yet dere's simply too many commitments, obligations to simply break away.
yes, commitments&obligations. not responsibilities. sounds ironical but NO, it isnt.
i dont even view them as what im r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-l-e for.

im so sick of having to live up to th family's expectations alr.
being a good girl, being present at family events at th expense of my own activities, studying hard, not being able to do thisthat&that coz it's deemed as an embarrassment, not being able to dress in any specific way.
everything's for reputation.
it's so fking superficial i think it's pathetic.
im just not th Yingting they want,they expect to be.
it's tiring having to pretend so much to be accepted into what they call family.
tell me.. if Family is where true love & acceptance is, why do i have to give up so much of myself, so much of what i really want to gain membership in this committee?
i dont get it.
neither do i get th "either u conform or the door is right there(leave)" option based on THEIR defination of th F word again.

i dont want to regret not doing th things ive always wanted to.
yet im obligated to not be a letdown to so many people.
i guess i can only disappoint myself. sad fact.

im missing J so much right now):

im here to blog again.
stupidly using wdv energy left in me to try not to fall alsp instead of concentrating.
damnx.. i supp it's concentration in diff aspects.
I WNA CATCH UP!
skipped half of th lectures this week &ve yet to get th notes for IntHtm.
& my F&B notes has MISSING SLIDES>.< think th lady who helped photocopy it made a mistake. zZZ
im sososo dead.

&yes, i gotta STOP being late for school.
class participation marks gna go downdownDOWN coz of my constant late arrivals esp for F&B.
im srsly gna have to try my best alr.

wish me luck in doing well this sem alrights? arigatougozaimasu(:

bet silly babyJ's aslp alr
super missing him now>.<
wondering if he gna head town w me ltr>,<
true im fine alone but still... I WNA GO OUT W HIM!

baby, my hint very big alr horh!

You know when you're madly in love when he is sleeping and you can't get to sleep feeling alone.
You know when you're madly in love when you break his heart and want to make up for it on the spot or you will feel moodless.
You know when you're madly in love if when you remember specific things about everything you have gone through with him.

tt was how i felt when i was with him.
& darling, it all belongs to u alr(:

im so slpy im blogging in attempt to stay awake.
promised J i gna STUDY tonight.
mustmustmust.. hope i can conc.
missing him loads. got th urge to slpover with him.
randomness. i cant anyway>.<

off to ole-bb

school sucks. F&Bsucks. coming home so early when im obviously in a bad mood sucks max too.
cant believe i actually screwed a quiz so badly.
rmbed a load of nonsense and cldn recognise th bloody herbs.
stupid me. im angry at myself.
I STUDIED HERBS AND I SCREWED UP AT TT.
wow.

got to smell a whole load of herbs during presentation after th quiz.
didn get to present tho.. coz spices can be kept.
HOPEFULLY. th last thing i need is for th vanilla to spoil coz im broke alr.
but well.. i just wanted to say I HATE ANTH LIQUORICEY.
ewww...

-end of complains-

bet y'all didn noe how AWEEESOME J is.
th only reason y im home so early instead of hanging out till late's coz i promised to be his good gal.
grrr... explains y i forced myself to be here at this sucky period of my whole day to blog>.<
Baby U WIN LIAO LOR! where's my reward for being such a good gal? xD

oh yes.. 1 last complain before i go..
no hugs&kisses for me today=(

im updating despite having to STUDY and RESEARCH for my quiz & presentation ltr.
p-r-o-c-r-a-s-t-i-n-a-t-i-n-g,as usual.

&J<3, thx for sending me home tho ure tired from th match
im just too reliant>.< rawr me.
&love me too! xD

im feeling so freaking lucky to be his gal.
totally dreading July. grrr..

for now, wish me luck.
gna get started on F&B, hopefully..

duper tired but still trying to complete HERBS&SPICES assignment.
zZ
im falling aslp alr but i cant help blogging coz dere's a whole load of stuff troubling me now.
but..

IM REALLY PROUD OF RVFBT(: tho they lost 2-0, it was real good. too bad i missed it. tskk! nvms! they did well & it's all that matter xD JIAYOU! 2 remaining matches!

&speaking of floorball, im utterly disappointed in myself for playing lk crap now. guess what.. i cant make it to trgn tmr. super zZ.. pissed with myself.

school isnt any better. im kinda preparing myself to fail i dno y i even bother alr.
im procrastinating to th extent tt i dno wad ive yet to do.
F&B test on thurs as well. im dead.
skipped RHT lecture tday tho im alr lagging behind in this. see what i mean? just kill me.

missing J loads. seems lk he's one of th main reasons why im smiling these days.
thx for being dere for me<3
&im super sorry still x.x im still THAT silly.

hmms.. i sld prolly get to slp soon xD
look at th time & wonder why th hell im blogging at such a nice hour.
ans: i was being a good gal trying to choose wad spice/herb to do on for F&BFun.
so not fun huhs..

ive yet to decide. maybe VANILLA. or STAR ANISE or TUMERIC
eek.
i'll prolly decide when i go buy them after school later.
wish me luck on completing th assignment on time. i dont have much of a choice in whether to meet or not to meet th deadline huhs?
gaaahs!

feeling kinda weird prolly coz J&i didn get to meet today.
after miting for days consequtively.
hopefully we gna meet ltr xD
missing tt silly loads so he'd btr miss me ^^
weets! im such a demanding gal to have!

changed my hair colour.
think J gna "scold" me for it lehs.. hope he doesnt. im a good gal lorh!
$$ fly away but th hairdressers were super nice!! im so going dere to get my nails done someday(:

& guess wad..
I LOVE LIL INDIA! so gna head dere to shop arnd one day
-imagine J thinking "i hope i got smth on when she decides to go"-
he's a SUPER LAZY bf tho he super duper dotes on me so far xD

lalas.
nites ppl! im so tired i dno what im blogging
-yawns&sleeps

morning earthlings(:
i woke up at 8plus and guess what...
ive been slacking until now while F&B assignment's still UNDONE!
or rather, ive yet to even choose th spice/herb i wna do on.
sososososo dead.
gotta stop procrastinating.

& i wna start complaining coz i wun get to meet J today.
rawrs! someone's off to tpy which is sooooooo freaking far considering my post-facial tomato face.
EEEEK!
& ive rocketed loads of $$ to cab firms ytd alr.
zZZs myself.

was supp to update before slping ytd but i fell aslp with lappy still on.
was caught by dad. think i ga be in for a major nagging session ltr.
hope lappy doesnt screw up soon with all th overnight activity [sounds wrong. heh xD]
ytd was basically Library, J, Foorball & J again ^^
nice right?
borrowed stuffies from th library & headed to mit him so i dont have to carry them to floorball.HEAVY >,<
fine. im just lazy. sounds more truthful lk tt.
cabbed to school for floorball and was late coz th uncle took me on some merry-go-round thing. damn pissed.. waste my time.
played pathetically [as usual], falling within 10secs i went on court. super zZ.
yea.. i tripped over my own feet.
so not stupid right? -wrong.
gna have to improve loads. totally forgot my basics alr. shyts.
time with my lazy boy after floorball was xD
i aint elaborating.
SILLY<3

i feel lk going on forever but still, ASSIGNMENT.
tt's all folks!

& i still feel lk miting him today lehs.. eeeeek!

toodaaas! IM UPDATING AGAIN, befre i slp at least xD
spent ytd(1/5) with J after much slacking at home.
managed to get part of my tutorials done but i really got stuck at Rhtm.
fk it.
ANGRY.

slacked arnd th staircase area & poor J was practically doing nth while i studied.
wanted to give up to pei him but he insisted tt i completed my stuff.
awww..
"forced" him to go queensway tmr get my floorball shorts since Capt Ogawa didn reply my msg as to whether normal fbts allow >,<
HE NAGGED LK SOME OLD MAN LOR! lmao
mcFlurried&StrawberryRedtea-ed on th way home.
yea.. we WALKED.
got bullied along th way D: poor me..

aint gna get to see him today.
rawrs..
we've only got lk 2mths14days left if we can even last tt long tgt.
hmms..

slpy alr.
NITES.

ps im so dumb i broke a glass bottle 45mins ago.zZ

Labels: .

back again.
haha! at th rate im going, i doubt i gna be on task =X
but i cant bring myself to do work!
zZ

found my Commsk textbook after much searching.
here's some of th examples of bad english thing i scribbled down to keep me awake.
there was a whole lot more but i guess im just too LAZY

(hotel in Japan) You're invited to take advantage of th chambermaids.
(tailor shop in Rhodes) Order your summer's suit. Because in a big rush, we will execute you in strict rotation.
(donkey ride in Thailand) would you like to ride your own ass?
(hotel in i cant rmb where) if you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

super duper zZ if u ask me.
& amazingly enough, most of th jokes aint from Country C(:
sorry huh.. i stereoype ALOT.

& im pissed with myself for making J upset. grrr.. Yting's th stupidest in th entire world.

weets(: im FINALLY updating while fully awake. ohkay.. maybe not.
but at least im not in some just-woke-up-to-off-th-lappy mode unlike in th prev few posts.
just completed them for th sake of updating and wooosh!
off to lalaland ^(oo)^
super duper pig.

some backdated updates..
#1 floorball was fun tho i sucked at it. i thik CaroleOgawa's super cute!
#2 RVFBT, u guys were aweeesome at th match despite a few mistakes here and dere. wish i watch th rest of th matches. JIAYOU! to win at least 1 out of 4 matches is a goal. but get th bonuses also k? xD all th very best<3
(28/4)

#3 didn go for dance auditions which i dno is a gd thing or what. doubt i gna get inso NVMS(: rofl.
#4 &&& i did my first informal class presentation today! coz i was saboed by WEIMING, RYAN & SHENXIANG. geeez.. freaked out TOTALLY.
#5 CommSk was at least kinda ohkay today coz th tcher spent lk 10mins showing us jokes coz of bad English. explains how i survived given tt 1/2hr++ was spent on presenation of various groups' pargraphs & we ended early. x.x
I DONT LK COMMSK
#6 i was left emoing & loitering arnd tbPlaza ALONE coz JamesWeeChinKuan ps-ed me. still dare to get angry coz i dowanna go home early lor. so bad right? eeyer... [hahas.make him feel guilty abit] xD
(29/4)

#7 was late for school ytd coz i missed a bus & I CLDN FIND TH TUTORIAL CLASS. stupid or what.. 17mins late. i swear i cldve reached within th 15mins allowance if i cld find it. goddamns unlucky>.<
#8 APEL's O.o TOTALLY. & if we dont pass it, gotta wait for next yr to retake. another stupid or what thing..
#9 spent after school tyme bullying Sillyboy. he bullied me alot too.. super mean! &.. he refused to let me see his doggy D: suit urself xD
10 seems lk we both moved on. for now, J&i got 2 mths before he zooms off to China. eeek! no fun right? can last thn say.. x.x
(3o/4)

& now for some real UPDATES.
im super duper not very happy to wake up and realise i freaking have a whole load of stuff to be done.
tutorials are ok but GRADED stuff lk tt presentation for F&BFUndamentals= super not appreciated.
TELL ME WHERE TH HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND TH SPICES yo?
eeek..
but at least i dere was a msg for me when i woke up. from J xD sorry i didn mean to fall aslp and kip u waiting..

List of things to do
#1 Housework
#2 PrinMgt, RHTM, MacroEc Tuts
#3 Spices&Herbs presentation assignment
#4 Pack my room
#5 Get my floorball stuff[socks&shorts]
#6 Visit my cousin's shop. wna c how he's doing
#7 Try to get a family dinner planned.
#8 Visit lil India. thinking Mustafa gna have wdv spices i want.
.
.

damns. all over th weekend. Gg.. i dont think i gna lk to head to destination in #8 over th weekends coz it gna be damn crowded >(
for now, CARROT CAKE!

yting l.

Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things.

love lies.

A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing.
I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:).
S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue.

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