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Monday, March 08, 2010
i realised part of th reason y i choose to stay single for now is 'cause i'll nv be good enough for anyone. work ytd was pretty sucky. got caught using th hp cause i was trying to read sis-sy's msg -.- things lk this always happen to me. nnbcb there were 2 kids @ th table i served. th lil boy was pretty handsome so nvm tho he sat @ my second most prefered spot to serve(1 of th sucky things tt happend) there was this baby too -did i mention i hate babies arnd when i work?- th baby woke up at a bad time. from what i heard, she was supp to sleep tru it. damnit lar... they were trying to entertain her thus taking a damn long time to eat while on th other hand, i had to meet th pressing needs of clearing and serving. made my work suckier. thirdly, there was this pregnant lady also. she quite buay zidong sit at a place tt is difficult to serve plus she noes it's hard to reach her and sort of doesnt bother helping out simply by taking th plates of food i passed her. srsly.. it's my job to serve and im alr doing my best to do so. ur presence forced me to be more mindful of ur needs alr so pls la! while im making th effort to try my best (while fighting my disgust at being pregnant), @ least act graciously. ok.. i sidetracked. those irritating ppl had to request for multiple drinks one by one when i returned for th bar w a drink someone else requested. when i asked, no one said anth/ declined. end up i had to go to th bar multiple times when this cldve been done at one go. when i wanted to clear th food they where not touching anymore, they didnt allow me to until 1 or 2 courses later saying they didn want th food anymore. THIS HAPPEND TRUOUT TH DINNER OK.. was freaking hard to serve them with their table filled w uneaten food. simply had a bad day and kids+pregnancy made it worse. and to add to th displeasure, th way tt pregnant lady and th other guests acted. i swore for th millionth time not to have kids and tt th zao sheng gui zi part has to be taken out of th wedding wishes. and. i think if i ever get married, i'll do so in a low-key manner in a boutique hotel. only close friends and immediate family members/relatives who are close to me. (same applies for my husband's side) will not invite a whole grp of ppl to irritate service staff. oh ya.. doubt im going tanning ltr. slp is more impt. plus i dont have an unread book to entertain me i rmb once when i said i wanted a child of my own w th man i would stay with forever, who wld love our family and whom being tgt w me, sharing evt would be of greatest happiness to him. tt time, i really meant it when i wanted a lil photocopy of his father despite claiming tt i wld be contented w 2 dogs. i had imagined tt cute little boy chasing a soccer ball on th field lk what those kids were doing in tamp safra. but things changed and these dreams faded into part of th distant memories which cross my mind once in a while. now, having 2dogs seem more lk reality to me. never had those dreams nor th want to commit to a life which involves so many other ppl and responsibilities anymore. perhaps i had really loved th guy. maybe, i wld meet someone who cld make me feel that way again despite sealing my heart. i realised tt ive kept lots of things locked in my heart, keeping th whole truth to myself somehow, they seem insignificant because you wldn be able to change certain things and so i rather u not know all th reasons. however, sometimes i really wonder if things wld have been different if i told u everything instead of simply telling you bits and pieces which wld hurt u less in comparison. if i hadnt bottled these things up, we could go back to th perfect rs we had at some point of time with th jwee who had changed and th yting who hasnt. we hadnt been able to exp this perfection tgt physically and sometimes, i really wonder if there cld have been a chance for us to if i hadnt chosen what to tell and what not to. maybe when i would meet a guy who can make me feel th way i did, bringing life to th lil dreams again someday=) time to stop letting my thoughts wander. as it seems now, im no longer impt. simply a part of somethings consigned to distant memories. aint a bad thing too, i suppose goodnight. under th jacket and hug of bouncy baby blue tho i promised not to previously. |
yting l. 
Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things. love lies. A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing. I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:). S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue. May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 Designer : Chili. x o x o |