nth worth believing in

quite pissed off..

i think t whole world noes tt i dun get along w my father's family (yea.. HIS family. ive got nth except to share t same surname-.-)
pretty stupid for me to get pissed over this but really, i dont feel lk attending his sister's son's wedding.
i dont even effing get along w my cousins. imagine surviving on pitiful stares for not fitting in (not lk i wanted to fit in in t first place) during cny each yr. it's no wonder that i dont want to see them again until th next yr when it is customary and only polite to meet.

BUT mum said i cant give my cousin's wedding a miss.
& to add insult to it, laoniang has to shop for an outfit for t wedding. sucks ttm. if i rather t dollars go to yingting's shopping fund (for things i really want)
no clothes to recycle. i rummaged tru my cupboard. theyve seen me in t outfits i deem fit for t occassion & ive no intentions of wearing t clothes i go to school in assuming im obliged (or to put it rather bluntly, Forced) to attend t function.

i see no reason why i have to put in t effort to go.
why sld i put myself tru t sheer torture of plastering a smile on my make-up-caked face while oh-so graciously congratulating ppl who constantly put me down for not taking my Alvls?
i dont even know t bride & ive spoken less thn 50 sentences w t groom including t "Happy New Year" each year since i cld talk.
dont understand what's w t "u have to go cause it's ur cousin's wedding".
i doubt i even recognise him if we walked pass each other on t streets.

pretty cruel to say this but i feel more happiness for t sweet loveydovey couples whose weddings i work in although they are strangers cause i get paid for my efforts in being present and more importantly, i dont see th ugly side of them.
besides, some of t couples are tgt for yrs and their union is lk t swtest dream come true.
ok.. perhaps i sld be a lil more congratulatory towards this soon-to-be-married couple cause at least, my cousin isnt marrying my younger bro's ex-teacher who used to be a trainee in my sec school-.-
still.. fk attending a wedding displaying an array of ppl i so do not fancy seeing.
i see more point in making a conversation w my softtoys.

starting to pray hard that i gna uhms.. suffer from a massive hangover (: wanted to say smth lk fall sick but a hangover's better cause it gna be worth th fun & allows me to miss t wedding at t same time.
lalala! feeling so much happier now tt ive got a plan.
pray for me to get fcking drunk on labour day PLEASE! tyvmilu.

dont give me shyt lk if i dont go, i'll prolly offend t whole grp of them and they wun turn up at my wedding in future.
i dont intend to invite them. ve got plans to keep my wedding a small gathering of close family and frens instead of making it some rowdy social event.
guest list will only include my immediate family members, grand aunts&uncles whom im close to, my maternal aunt&uncle w their family, mum's frens whom i know and am close to/ my mum's VERY close to, my veryvery good frens.
my part of t guest list wldn exceed 100 pax. doubt it'll make it to 70.
my husband can invite whoever is impt to him. i dont mind if it's twice that of my family and frens.
just dont wna see ppl i dont wish to see on my wedding day/ ppl who are coming because they have to.
isnt it so much btr to receive heartfelt blessings?(:

yting l.

Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things.

love lies.

A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing.
I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:).
S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue.

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