Thursday, September 30, 2010

i knw im supp to let u go.
& i knw u'd be happier if i cld. i knw it all.

but im sorry im to weak to do so. im nt strong enough to step out of ur world for u.
im sorry ive got to be selfish this time.
i noe i cnt do without you.
even if i cn, i wldnt wnt to.

ynoe baby, if only u wld come back.
if only your love for me's enough.

u wnt a life without me and i dun wnt a life without you.
doesnt it seem lk evt will be btr if im out of this world for good? this way, you can be happy. & i wld stop hurting.

& i figured that a heart keeps breaking until it stops beating. 'cause whn it stops, all th reasons for it to break and mend over & over again ceases to exist.
i figured tt if thr was a chance at afterlife, at staying by ur side without affecting you, giving up struggling to live on's worthwhile.
thn, we wldnt be seperated and life will still go on for u. perfect.

bt evt's contradicting, no?
living on offers tt sliver of chance of us being tgt again, of us fulfiling our promises to each other.
& tt's th only reason y im fighting on still..
yet it seems so much lk wishful thinking tt th former's a totally more appealing option.
i need time to rethink my options.
to try my best groping and watching th slivers slip tru my fingers again & again until i finally succeed or to just content myself being by you.

if only u cld see tt we all love w our hearts, not our minds.
if only you saw with your heart th depth of my love i nv knew exisited until i lost u.
u wld see how i wld really never leave you again 'cause i can nv love another guy lk i love you.
if only you cld feel it all with your heart and believe.

i tried loving you with my mind and lost you whn i lost my resolve & followed my heart too late.
wht if one day you realised and i aint here anymore? (im sorry. my thots do drift alongside my hopes of me being impt to you-.-)
i guess wht im more afraid of is tt your heart wld soon go th way your thots lead. thn, all tt we had wld mean nth at all.

cant you see? i noe ive hurt u but it's nt within my capacity to ever let you go again.
& cnt you believe this love wldnt cease even if you're going back to Myanmar?
it wld still be thr, contented with calls, messages, online sessions.
& if we can, brief visits by either of us during th holidays.

gawd. i need to wake up.
these aint coming true & i noe it alr
im still stupidly holding on until my heart stops beating. & maybe even after.
Written By.


yting l.

Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things.

love lies.

Silent Goodbyes.
A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing.
I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:).
S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue.
Memories.

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