Thursday, January 27, 2011

queenofeverythingbad
 Last proj due tmr. yayness! happiness. delightfulnes..
but my grp's just getting started. awesome..
& im still procrastinating. been up since 10plus. nth done.
got to jiayou.

been being a very bad gal lately.
realised how i can nv be a gd gf to anyone.
not even wj. we noe each other too well. sldve been perfect if we were tgt but no. we just noe each other too well to be tgt.
i cnt be a gd gf to anyone else cause of th really special rs w wj.
i keep wishing i wld be able to find a bf who understands me and accept tt thr is another person who's really special to me besides them.

& my ideal is unrealistic. a rs which intimacy stops at hugging & th occassional kisses.
i dislike it whn my bf gets touchy bt normally accept them and try to be as normal abt it as possible.. just take my mind as far away frm whtever's going on and play along.
it sucks srsly tho i try my best nt to show it. it makes me feel lk retreating into my own world. explains th super random moodswings aft evt.
part of th reason why i miss p so much is because he  understands th situation w wj. & he nv got touchy unless i inititated it cause he accepts t weird expectations as an important part of me.

im selfish and i admit it. i expect wht's important to me accepted no matter how unrealistic it is. now tt someone has done it for me before, i noe tt while my expectations are unrealistic, thr are ppl are willing to accomodate them, making me feel safe being myself.
apparently love just isnt enough for me anymore. it's abt loving me enough.
tts y i cnt bring myself to make any real commitments now. simply because i dun feel secured and loved enough to wnt to. & i'll nv be able to be a gd gf th way things are going.

uhms. back to projs & school. & acc test tmr.
fml srsly.
sry for being bad in every single sense
Written By.


yting l.

Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things.

love lies.

Silent Goodbyes.
A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing.
I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:).
S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue.
Memories.

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