Saturday, August 27, 2011

whn ppl say "be contented with wht you hv" i think... it's so fucking hard to be satisfied with something you dont have.
for example, you hav a bf who dont treat u well. u arent going to think "at least i have a bf", are you?
oui? thn va chier(:
(no, i didnt just say smth along th lines of good for you)

Back to th point.
im always second & further back priority. do i fucking content with that?

was intending to go for a short trip after exams. either right after the last paper or th week before SIP starts.
i suppose im th LAST to noe ur SIP starts early eh? with th "u dno meh? irah never tell you"
so now i need to find out abt ur stuff from others and best thing, someone u noe i rarely talk to outside proj. wow.
so if i bump into ur frens/ tp ppl in some random club drunk & all over another guy & FINALLY told u abt it lk 3 days ltr & u get half pissed because i didnt fess-up earlier, do i say "eh, u dno meh!? ____ didnt tell u? he/ she saw me wht!"

it's always been "i got soccer cannot" " im going out with ____ etc, some other day" "we made th plans damn early alr wht" "aiyo, u nv say earlier" "its ____ bday"
wdv happened to tt bf who wld go out on a call?
next time u got plans, dont fucking ask me wht i intend to do, wht my plans are whn i ask u out & at th end tell me stuff lk "anw, i cannot make it. it's ______ insert wdv activity u have"

& dont expect me to take up last-min unfilled days tt ure bored. if i feel pathetic enough, i will look u up voluntarily. bt thn dont expect wht u wnt whn i do finally go to u. u wont get a single fuck, literally. This is th reason why i keep pushing u away. see it? stop asking why.

maybe i sldnt even hope to spend my bday with u. cause there's always smth btr for u to do.
& im alr prepared tt u wont prove me wrong so i wont get unduly upset whn it happens.

ppl also always say "if u want smth, reach out for it. because it wont come dished out to u". im doing just that. simply in a different way because im nt th kind who wld demean myself just to be happy w a guy from whom i cannot detect a single sliver of concern from. for a start, it's pretty good because it's so much easier thn stupidly hoping.
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yting l.

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