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Saturday, September 17, 2011
my weirdest thots by far.. ive nv rly been able to understand why sometimes, ppl simply refuse to to take "it's nt u, it's just me" or smth along tt line, as an explanation. because sometimes, it really is the best reason rather than an excuse. if we were to attemot to play with a stray dog, say in P.Ubin, wht do we do after th shock should th dog bite us instead of either playing or running away? we start blaming luck, start cursing at th dog etc. nuf said. & hw many of us actually blame fellow mankind for scaring those loving creatures, making them so defensive against us? instead of cursing at th dogs, will we actually take a step back and think it isnt their fault bt ours (mankind)? while most of u will not agree with my analogy, deeming it as a far-fetched irrelevant illustration, thr's no clearer way i see sense out of th typical "it's nt u but me" thing. guys and gals blame each other for failed relationships most of th times. guys dont understand why girls refuse to be moved by their advances despite th sincerity behind, gals on th other hand cannot make sense of why guys dont seem to see our commitment. well, hw many times have we girls committed our hearts & souls to that someone bt cant stay throughout, leaving them broken whn they finally trust us? & hw often does a guy stay th same, sweet, caring person he was during courtship? nw, who can blame us for guarding our hearts so freakin well, ruling them with our minds instead of letting our feelings reign free? yes, tt's wht im saying. it has always been "it's nt u (but all those who made me trust yet leave ultimately). it's just me (, my fault for nt being able to believe in u, in myself)". all those unspoken words, wrapped up and put across. with th hope of getting a reassurance instead of a question in response. & each time, it only invites further disappointment of "why?/ wht did i do wrong?/ wht sort of reason or excuse is thi?" amidst all other questions. never th reassurance we are unable to commit to for th nagging fear of letting someone down again, th reluctance of putting in our all as we risk doubting ourselves more should we fail to make good of our word. thinking so much sldve made me btr, stronger right? sadly no. im just as human as anyone else. maybe even less with my uncanny propensity to act on impulse according to my instinct instead. yes, im one of those cowards who yearn for love yet am afraid to trust, be trusted & end up hurting. 现实的我好矛盾好矛盾哦。。虽然不断渴望爱情但不愿再受伤，伤害而选择放弃。因为事实上爱情永远不会是想相中的那么单纯，完美。可是尽管如此，在得不到时多想要拥有，也无法放手。当得到一丝不完美的爱情却又无法珍惜。 最重要的是，我无法想象自己再次败给只会把爱挂在嘴边的人 也害怕因为不想过于信赖一个人而在有美好结局前选择离开。 & sorry for the grammatical errors. i nv did stop to think before typing. th words simply came pouring from the bottom of my heart. |
yting l. 
Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things. love lies. A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing. I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:). S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue. May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 Designer : Chili. x o x o |