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Thursday, September 15, 2011
well u see.. because life has been constantly fucking me up. so i decided to play along w it, pulling a few pranks of my own. What a way to recollect myself, to put pieces of me back together. Simply by chiding myself for being too wrapped up with my own games. things are officially over with jw because i chose not to go w th flow, i wanted to trip things up a little. an anchor keeps the boat in close proximity to the intended course despite the waves. but it does little in the face of a whirlwind. no matter wht i did, hw crazy i went whn we were tgt, it was kept within certain boundaries set by the rs. i used to resent t restrictions bt frankly, it's a lil disorienting after being in a rs for as long as i can rmb, to see whr fate brings me. As a boat in the abovedmentioned analogy, i can only hope th wind & waves be kind enough to take pieces of me or wdv's tt left to somewhere nice. to someone willing to patiently patch me up, complete me simply by taking ownership of me. by thn, i guess i wld be willing & docile enough to stay without yearning for the freedom of being alone. A leopard will never change its spots. how true. thr was a period of time i used to be crazily drawn to the scent of people around me. it's like i was falling in love first with a scent, & thn because it seems so essential it makes me want to be with tt person so i'd always hv it. just tt person because unlike a perfume, a scent is irreplacable. In a sense, u hold tt person so dear despite only briefly knowing him because he completes your idea of perfection in tt special way unique to him alone. & somehow "once bitten twice shy" nv seems to work for me. Melvin's scent used to drive me real crazy as wdv he did, it suited him perfectly, drawn me to him & kept me captivated for the longest time even after we broke up because much as i loved tt scent, th owner cldnt leave his past. Whn i met patrick 1 yr later, i still had tt inkling of hope tt things wld work out fine given tt i hadnt experienced th same instinctive draw for the longest time. (how freaking (ir)rational..ikr) anw we all knw th ending. things fucked up eventually. twice in a row sldve been enuf rite? no. despite my best efforts to suppress th influence of how a person smells has on my emotions, i met someone whose scent gt me really hooked recently. th only good thing's knwing he cld nv be mine however briefly so im spared th painful process of letting go again(: While im rly pissed w hw messed up i am, at least this time im going to get it right. Get a grip on my already messed up life. ps/ Damns. i wish my instincts were slightly more attuned to who's th one for me rather thn drawing me to just any guy. passing clouds which perhaps stay a lil and leave after causing a thunderstorm x.x SHEESH! & for the last bit of daily grouch:
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yting l. 
Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things. love lies. A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing. I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:). S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue. May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 Designer : Chili. x o x o |