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Monday, April 09, 2012
nuts to be blogging the first thing i get home(: eventful day. im too dumb to function. & work's never fine in any case when im lacking sleep and highly distracted. this said, i rly hv to count my blessings for hving such awesome colleagues who cheer me up just by being themselves. nextnext week.. i promise i wont get drunk. & to j* if u read this, thanks for being there when the nights get lonely even tho ure exhausted after work. it feels weird to suddenly be un-attached after so long. nothing seems to rly make sense. no matter hw hard i try to come up w an explanation, i cnt provide one which would satisfy me, much less him. all i have to offer is a sincere apology. because while he's hurting badly, i merely flit between confusion and normality. confusion with regards to what i hv done, wht i sld do, wht i cn do and thn doubting all tt i ever think of. as for normality, making decisions solely based on my desires never felt so right. it's a feeling i miss. being able to spend all the time i want alone and all without the guilt of knowing he's waiting and upset.. i thought for long and hard on the way home. for the best explanation i could give. and here goes.. i wouldnt say im unhappy in th rs because i was. and i was lucky to hv him. but knowing i cn nv reciprocate the generous love he has for me drives me up the wall. it pressurizes me knowing the least i could do is to always think of him no matter what i do. there isnt going to be a long-term rs because i could give it all up for a life of my own. and rly, his beliefs, responsibilities and all doesnt have a place in the life ive always dreamed of. and for starters, i dont believe in fairytale romance. i dont agree with Bruno Mars (im talking abt the song "grenade") and like i said, i realised it's all because i loved bt hv nv fallen in love. this whole lot of trash is probably the best explanation i can give, for now. |
yting l. 
Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things. love lies. A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing. I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:). S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue. May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 Designer : Chili. x o x o |