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Monday, July 30, 2012
hey baby(: yes, it's me again.. still wanting to tell you how much i love you. but im afraid someday u'd go "ynoe what? ive heard it one time too many. and im sick of it alr" im afraid u'd eventually leave because both of us are so "live in th moment" people thr doesnt seem to be anth we can work towards. it cld just be this finger-snap decision by either of us that we've had enough of th moments we had and want something new, someone new. and im rly scared whn it comes to th time we decide it's time to plan our lives, we might realise that we aint the other-one in the plans. you've come as close to the memories i held so dearly & cried over countless times the past 1+yrs than anyone else had though we've got a record-breaking number of quarrels in the 1-2 mths since we got tgt. & im grateful for having met you, yet at the same time fearful for i experienced how it was like to be on the brink of a real breakdown when P left after slightly more thn 1/2 yr into th rs. i dont know hw i'd react if you made th same decision. yes, ive said so many times i'd be fine alone & that i'd let you go nonchalantly and i would, at least in front of u and the friends we share. but i dont know how i would take it. i meant every bit when i said "im aware ive got a bf whom i love very much.... & ure the only one who came as close to him in my heart, so why th fuck wld i screw it up?" ive realised that for sometime now, which is why im constantly bogged down by th sense of insecurity that there simply wldnt be the "happily ever after" part.(yes im nuts. we just got tgt so wtf am i doing thinking so far off) ive nv admitted it until now because im afraid my neediness would freak you out and cause u more stress if we aint on the same page regarding this issue and im sorry if u gna freak out after reading this but i simply hv to get this off my mind. Gaahs x.x this suck. cnt bring myself to "backspace" everything i wrote just in case you rly decide to leave because this pressurizes you but at least things wldnt turn out so bad if you realised this rs isnt th right one for you at an earlier stage. i wldnt take it very well for sure but at least it might be easier to live with it rather than facing this issue ltr on. pls stay. ohmygodimustbenutstohavewrittenallthiscrap. |
yting l. 
Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things. love lies. A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing. I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:). S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue. May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 Designer : Chili. x o x o |