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Thursday, July 19, 2012
my life as it is: rather enjoyable yet at the same time hating the girl living it yes im back.& perhaps a little more confused that the disillusioned bitch i was previously. it's another sleepless night. which eventually led to me re-reading the more recent blogposts, resulting in me wondering if i'm suffering from split personality or if i had really changed so much in less than 2 mths. for th cynical being i was, i'm actually in a rather normal rs now with a rather average guy in the eyes of th world. i mean, anyone would think that im actually dating a string of rich/abv average old men now from my prev posts but rly, theBoyfriend is neither old or rich or has a daddy/granddad who's a ceo of xyz company. it's been more thn a mth since we got tgt but im still rly baffled by both our choices on being tgt. someone like him who's used to being pampered, a girl like me who's used to being pampered someone like him who's used to dating chio girls, a girl like me who rly needs major cosmetic procedures to look something like the least chio girl he has dated. someone like him who's faithful in love (i hope..), a girl like me who changes her mind in a finger-snap. well.. you get it. and i dont blame you if you're pitying th guy at this very moment. i still wonder if i made the right choice/ if im shortchanging him in having a go at this rs from time to time. all i cn say's tt im rly grateful that he has always been here from that moment, seeing that im trying. & im thankful he's trying equally hard to make this rs work despite me falling short of expectations. thing is, im here at this hour whn i hv to wake up early for work tmr's because im missing him too much to slp. for some unknown reasons, the 2 major quarrels we had previously keeps replaying in my mind and for all th shyt i said in them, i rls now tt i wldnt b able to walk away like we had nv been tgt if he chooses to leave me now or sometime in future. yes, things been going rather smoothly recently but i cnt help wondering if it's because he's suppressing any unhappiness he has in being with me, be it having to put in more effort or tolerating my eccentricity. & th needy person ive that ive become is freaking me out. it feels as though i wld go through another "crazy period' i had when p & i broke up if he ever leaves. *mindfucked* it feels like idk tht girl ive become and i hv no fcking idea if she's btr thn th person i used to be. wish i cld say more bt i feel drained enuf to slp now. goodnight bby. i love u more thn u will ever rls. |
yting l. 
Give me presents on 09/10. I love rings, ice-cream, chocolate, candies, piercings & pretty little things. love lies. A-H: caihong. charlene. dallas. dengyin. garyim. homing. I-R: jeryl. jhosy. jiaxin. jocelyn. kerry. linjia. michelle. minee. mireen. munyee. noelle. peiwen. riwei:). S-Z: sally:). sherlyn. sinyeeL. vengyi. vivian weikaiN. winnie. xiaxue. May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 Designer : Chili. x o x o |